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Everybody has a story, let me tell you mine...
THE FIRST 15 YEARS : LIFE IN BEAUTIFUL FIJI
I was born in the South Pacific islands of Fiji, in the capital city of Suva.
Fiji is a beautiful and unique place. Many people say that Fijians are the nicest people on Earth! Our culture is a proud mix of native and Indian traditions. Many people don’t know that Fiji did not have TV or access to mainstream media until 1995. So growing up, most of my childhood was spent playing outdoors with my brother and just trying to survive.
Although this place is known as an island paradise, for the people who live there, it also has it's drawbacks. Good jobs can be hard to come by. I remember there was often a lot of civil conflict, petty crime, people fighting in the streets.
I was a very active and free-spirited kid. I knew I had to look out for myself early on. I learned to run fast without looking back, because if I knew if I got caught, I would either get robbed and/or assaulted, with the system being so corrupt at that point in time.
Fiji is a beautiful and unique place. Many people say that Fijians are the nicest people on Earth! Our culture is a proud mix of native and Indian traditions. Many people don’t know that Fiji did not have TV or access to mainstream media until 1995. So growing up, most of my childhood was spent playing outdoors with my brother and just trying to survive.
Although this place is known as an island paradise, for the people who live there, it also has it's drawbacks. Good jobs can be hard to come by. I remember there was often a lot of civil conflict, petty crime, people fighting in the streets.
I was a very active and free-spirited kid. I knew I had to look out for myself early on. I learned to run fast without looking back, because if I knew if I got caught, I would either get robbed and/or assaulted, with the system being so corrupt at that point in time.
THEY CALLED ME "PAKI" : MY IMMIGRANT EXPERIENCE
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My parents left everything in Fiji to come to Canada in 1996 in hopes it would provide me and my younger brother with a better life. We settled in Surrey, a suburb of Vancouver, when I was 15 years old and my brother was 12.
I faced a huge culture shock those first few years in Surrey. It was the first time I experienced racism and bullying. In high school I got picked on by my peers for being the "new kid". I'd walk the halls and kids would call me "Paki", "Ni**er Girl" and other racial slurs. I didn't even know what those terms meant at first (we didn't talk like that in Fiji). I would get pushed and knocked around by jocks and bullies who were absolutely relentless in harassing me. Here I was, in my first year in a Canadian school, depressed and lonely. I spent every day eating lunch by myself because no one wanted to talk or associate themselves with me. I felt like an alien who landed on a foreign planet and didn't understand why the kids were so mean. After one particularly brutal bullying incident that happened in front of the entire school, (now that's another story) I realized I could stand up for myself and seek out help. I eventually transferred to another school and was able to make friends for the first time. It was a slow adjustment but I was hopeful, promising myself I would make the best of this situation. My career goal at that time was to become a Physical Education Teacher, so I was elated when I found out that my application was approved for a P.E. leadership program in my final year of school. Life was looking up for me. I finally had good friends and felt like I was fitting in. I worked really hard in my classes and even managed to get on the honour roll for the first time. My parents were proud that my younger brother had an older sis to be a role model to follow. |
I spent every day eating lunch by myself because no one wanted to talk or associate themselves with me. 
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FOREVER TRAUMATIZED : MY BROTHER'S MURDER
I remember getting the phone call from my mother saying that my brother was dead. Those words “he’s dead” still ring through my ears... My world came crashing down....
Me and my brother Chris.
On a dark and rainy Friday in October of 2007, my 22 year old brother Chris left home to meet his friends to play at a basketball tournament. He never made it to his game. He didn't even make it out the apartment building.
A single gunshot to the back of my brother’s head ended his life in seconds. He was one of two innocent by-standers in a gangland drug hit that took out another four other people. He was a victim of unthinkable violence; simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
This one single event changed my life forever. What I thought was just another Friday, turned out to be the most devastating day of my life. I sometimes relive that day like it just happened.
I remember getting the phone call from my mother saying that my brother was dead. Those words “he’s dead” still ring through my ears... My world came crashing down....
The first month after that was a blur. From making police statements, victim impact statements, showing up in court, trying to make sense of it all, I seriously doubted that I would find any kind of peace in my life again. At this point, I was in my mid-twenties, working an insurance job I didn’t give two shites about. My parents had immigrated to Canada to give me and my brother the best life that they could. They had gone through so much and our Chris was taken away. Where was this "Good Life" that was promised to us?
My parents divorced soon after Chris' death, and I went into major depression-- distancing myself from everybody because I was tired of the pity party. I didn't know it at the time but I suffered from PTSD; I couldn’t sleep for days which turned into weeks, the images of my brother in my mind haunted me. I always knew deep down inside myself that I had to find a purpose. I had to find the will to live. I couldn’t let my brother's senseless murder go in vain. I knew I had to live for both of us.
A single gunshot to the back of my brother’s head ended his life in seconds. He was one of two innocent by-standers in a gangland drug hit that took out another four other people. He was a victim of unthinkable violence; simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
This one single event changed my life forever. What I thought was just another Friday, turned out to be the most devastating day of my life. I sometimes relive that day like it just happened.
I remember getting the phone call from my mother saying that my brother was dead. Those words “he’s dead” still ring through my ears... My world came crashing down....
The first month after that was a blur. From making police statements, victim impact statements, showing up in court, trying to make sense of it all, I seriously doubted that I would find any kind of peace in my life again. At this point, I was in my mid-twenties, working an insurance job I didn’t give two shites about. My parents had immigrated to Canada to give me and my brother the best life that they could. They had gone through so much and our Chris was taken away. Where was this "Good Life" that was promised to us?
My parents divorced soon after Chris' death, and I went into major depression-- distancing myself from everybody because I was tired of the pity party. I didn't know it at the time but I suffered from PTSD; I couldn’t sleep for days which turned into weeks, the images of my brother in my mind haunted me. I always knew deep down inside myself that I had to find a purpose. I had to find the will to live. I couldn’t let my brother's senseless murder go in vain. I knew I had to live for both of us.
IN HIS MEMORY : HOW FITNESS SAVED MY LIFE
I knew I had to act. Sitting around licking my wounds was not going to do me any good. I had to create my own happy ending. No one was going to do it for me. I had to transform myself from a Victim to a Survivor, and then, to a Thrive-or!”
About a year later, I felt an intense urge to change my life. I needed to move, and experience someplace different-- this urge led me to move from Vancouver, BC to Toronto, Ontario.
I quit my dead-end insurance job. Gave my landlord notice. Packed up and sold all my stuff, and boarded a plane with just 2 suitcases in hand. I didn't know what I was going to do there, but I knew that I needed a NEW atmosphere, a NEW perspective on life. Toronto was where I had to go.
My brother was also big into fitness too! He also wanted to be a personal trainer like I did, so this was like a two-birds-one=stone sort of move for me. For the first time in a long time, I was inspired. It's hard to describe what inspiration feels like. It was refreshing-- like a cold glass of lemonade on a hot summer day. You know!!
Following my heart, pursuing my dream, was the best move I ever made. It was a new beginning.
This was where my FITNESS JOURNEY began. Fitness was the one thing that kept me strong and kept me hopeful. Fitness made me feel like I had a purpose. I wanted to not only help myself, but help others who had also gone through traumatic experiences in their lives.
I launched my company TWT Fitness to offer my clients my own brand of personal training inspired by my own growth and lessons learned. Using my own life experiences, I aim to inspire others to be more physically active and live a balanced lifestyle. I witness many of my clients acquire a new zest for life just by simply participating in fitness activity. Fitness had made such a big difference, not only in the way their bodies looked, but also in their outlook towards life! My clients continue to inspire me everyday to continue along my journey, help others along the way, and be happy following my heart.
I quit my dead-end insurance job. Gave my landlord notice. Packed up and sold all my stuff, and boarded a plane with just 2 suitcases in hand. I didn't know what I was going to do there, but I knew that I needed a NEW atmosphere, a NEW perspective on life. Toronto was where I had to go.
My brother was also big into fitness too! He also wanted to be a personal trainer like I did, so this was like a two-birds-one=stone sort of move for me. For the first time in a long time, I was inspired. It's hard to describe what inspiration feels like. It was refreshing-- like a cold glass of lemonade on a hot summer day. You know!!
Following my heart, pursuing my dream, was the best move I ever made. It was a new beginning.
This was where my FITNESS JOURNEY began. Fitness was the one thing that kept me strong and kept me hopeful. Fitness made me feel like I had a purpose. I wanted to not only help myself, but help others who had also gone through traumatic experiences in their lives.
I launched my company TWT Fitness to offer my clients my own brand of personal training inspired by my own growth and lessons learned. Using my own life experiences, I aim to inspire others to be more physically active and live a balanced lifestyle. I witness many of my clients acquire a new zest for life just by simply participating in fitness activity. Fitness had made such a big difference, not only in the way their bodies looked, but also in their outlook towards life! My clients continue to inspire me everyday to continue along my journey, help others along the way, and be happy following my heart.
RADICAL SELF CARE : USING CANNABIS FOR HEALING
After my brother died, I suffered with major insomnia, depression, and post-traumatic stress.
I struggled through many endless sleepless nights, trying to process the trauma of losing him so suddenly and having to deal with my whole family situation falling apart... I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. My mind had thoughts upon thoughts buzzing around non-stop. It was hard to cope with everyday life. I was checking out from everything and living like a zombie. I missed a lot of days at work. I kept to myself and avoided events. I even stopped hanging out with friends because I felt they couldn't understand what I was going through. I felt like a walking “pity party”.
One day, out of the blue, a worried friend came over. She forced herself in through the door, and said she had something for me that would help. Something that would lift my mood so I could relax and get some much-needed sleep. She pulled out a couple of nicely rolled joints and gave me a lighter. On that night, she initiated me into the wonderful world of cannabis. And things were never the same... that first smoke sesh changed my life! (Thanks, A!) This is also why I decided to become a budtender, i wanted to help people just like me who've been suffering in some way or the other and wanted relief.
Being the good friend that she was, she left me with a gift bag of yummy cannabis and encouraged me to enjoy it and experiment with the dosage. She said I needed to self-monitor my usage and to use it consciously-- just like any other medicine (smart advice!). Once I had experienced the healing effects of cannabis, I knew I had to learn as much as I could about this herb and share my knowledge with others.
It was at that point, I knew I was on a life-changing mission.
Fitness had started me on a path of strengthening myself; Cannabis gave me the healing balance I needed. Now I use both of these tools as forms of self-care.
Since then, I’ve totally immersed myself in the cannabis industry. I became a certified budtender for a medicinal dispensary, business consulting, and partner on creative projects with cool cannabis entrepreneurs. For me, using cannabis is not only a self care practice, it’s a valuable part of my lifestyle-- just as much as fitness is part of my healthy lifestyle. I know cannabis can’t solve all of the world’s problems, but I do believe it is a natural remedy that can help a lot of people who are struggling with physical pain and mental stress. Science is just beginning to acknowledge the many healing properties of this ancient plant and the multitude of ways it can be used. We are still in the early days of a brand new industry!
Although there is still much negative judgment, stigma, and misinformation out there about cannabis and cannabis users, I realize I am not alone in supporting this worthy cause. I am here today to align forces with the cannabis community in Canada and around the globe to fully legalize this innocent plant and help others experience the power of this life changing medicine for themselves.
I truly believe that as we each heal ourselves,we will heal the world!
I struggled through many endless sleepless nights, trying to process the trauma of losing him so suddenly and having to deal with my whole family situation falling apart... I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. My mind had thoughts upon thoughts buzzing around non-stop. It was hard to cope with everyday life. I was checking out from everything and living like a zombie. I missed a lot of days at work. I kept to myself and avoided events. I even stopped hanging out with friends because I felt they couldn't understand what I was going through. I felt like a walking “pity party”.
One day, out of the blue, a worried friend came over. She forced herself in through the door, and said she had something for me that would help. Something that would lift my mood so I could relax and get some much-needed sleep. She pulled out a couple of nicely rolled joints and gave me a lighter. On that night, she initiated me into the wonderful world of cannabis. And things were never the same... that first smoke sesh changed my life! (Thanks, A!) This is also why I decided to become a budtender, i wanted to help people just like me who've been suffering in some way or the other and wanted relief.
Being the good friend that she was, she left me with a gift bag of yummy cannabis and encouraged me to enjoy it and experiment with the dosage. She said I needed to self-monitor my usage and to use it consciously-- just like any other medicine (smart advice!). Once I had experienced the healing effects of cannabis, I knew I had to learn as much as I could about this herb and share my knowledge with others.
It was at that point, I knew I was on a life-changing mission.
Fitness had started me on a path of strengthening myself; Cannabis gave me the healing balance I needed. Now I use both of these tools as forms of self-care.
Since then, I’ve totally immersed myself in the cannabis industry. I became a certified budtender for a medicinal dispensary, business consulting, and partner on creative projects with cool cannabis entrepreneurs. For me, using cannabis is not only a self care practice, it’s a valuable part of my lifestyle-- just as much as fitness is part of my healthy lifestyle. I know cannabis can’t solve all of the world’s problems, but I do believe it is a natural remedy that can help a lot of people who are struggling with physical pain and mental stress. Science is just beginning to acknowledge the many healing properties of this ancient plant and the multitude of ways it can be used. We are still in the early days of a brand new industry!
Although there is still much negative judgment, stigma, and misinformation out there about cannabis and cannabis users, I realize I am not alone in supporting this worthy cause. I am here today to align forces with the cannabis community in Canada and around the globe to fully legalize this innocent plant and help others experience the power of this life changing medicine for themselves.
I truly believe that as we each heal ourselves,we will heal the world!
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MY MISSION IS
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